CHANGING VOICES IN MID-SERIES

Why a Fiction Writer Went From First to Third Person after two successful-novels

I’ve written four novels known as The NJA Club Series. They can be read in any order. The protagonist, Glenn Murray Cohen, is a former criminal defense lawyer from San Francisco who fortuitously finds himself in a situation where he can walk away from his stress-filled life and start a new existence as an affluent expat in Bangkok, Thailand. In each novel, Glenn and his eclectic friends from the mysterious NJA Club are called upon to battle dangerous enemies: Russian gangsters, North Korean hitmen, drug dealers, rogue CIA agents, thugs sent by China. I’ve termed the series “exotic noir thrillers.”

The first two novels, Bangkok Shadows and Bangkok Whispers, were written in the first person. Thus, the only point of view readers get is Glenn’s, and everything is seen only through his eyes and the prisms of his own experiences, biases and misunderstandings. The idea is that readers understand this, and they do not blindly accept all that Glenn says as completely true and correct. This technique was essentially invented and perfected in The Great Gatsby; Nick Carraway became the template by which virtually all American fiction writers set up their first person work.

(I’ve often written that The Great Gatsby is the finest American novel ever written; I’m not getting any PR fees from the Fitzgerald Estate; I say this because I mean it. Every few years I reread it for creative inspiration and enlightenment.)

I’m not threatening the exalted positions of John Grisham, John Burdett, Lisa Scottoline or James Patterson, but in the small-ball game of independent authors, I am clearly doing better than most. You can check out the series by clicking here.

I’ve managed to keep my rating on every book above 4 stars, generally a majority give 5, and most reviews are quite positive, except for a handful of Trumpies who resent that Glenn is a liberal Democrat. (I should thank these folks; every time they write, I sell more books, and I’ve used the slogan “The Book the Trumpies Love to Hate” on several successful no-cost promos listed above.)

If you’re interested in a deeper dive, about writing, living as an expat, and the life of a criminal lawyer, check out my interview on Thairish Times:

I’ve Kicked the Paid Promotion Habit and My books Have Done Better

What really makes me feel good about the series is that these days, I do virtually no paid advertising to sell books or garner KU readers, and promote myself primarily through social media groups on Facebook, LinedIn, even a few on Reddit, on my own blog and of course, on Substack. (Like most indie authors, I had some costly lessons on the follies of believing what paid promos sites promise.) I feel pretty confident that when a reader reads one book in the series, many will purchase or read the others on KU. I’m even more confident of this when I give one away for free as a promo.

So why on earth would I risk alienating readers by changing the voice from first to third person? Some of the most successful thrillers and suspense novels have been written in the first person, because in general, the character and nature of the protagonist is what drives the novel; plots may come and go, but a great character is forever. By shifting from first person to third, Glenn would be just one more character in the novel, the most important one, but still only one. From that point on, information would no longer be limited to what Glenns tells us; readers would see the views and thoughts of all characters and some (but as little as possible) of the all knowing, omnipotent narrator that is always threatening to seize control of the novel from the writer.

Let’s be clear about one thing: neither point of view is “easier” or “harder” to write. While at first blush it might seem that dealing with only one character’s point of view is easier, that’s a misconception. For example, one reason I shifted to third person was because it allows me greater room to show my Thai characters and how they think and relate to each other when no foreigners are around. (Fiction of course, since by definition, despite speaking passable Thai, I could not have ever been part of a Thai-only conversation, being as I am not Thai.) I couldn’t figure out a way to do it in first person which resonated as well. However, wanting to do so doesn’t make it happen. It’s really hard and takes a lot of thought and care. It would be even harder to do this successfully in the first person, a main reason I shifted.

When I Wrote the First Novel, Bangkok Shadows, I Worked From a Series of Character Sketches, All Narrated by Glenn

I might also add that when I really didn’t know what I was doing when I wrote and published Bangkok Shadows in 2018. I’d earned an MA in Creative Writing at San Francisco State University back in the Seventies, but put writing aside to pursue a legal career. When I retired (not like Glenn) and spent several years living with my wife in Bangkok, I returned to that old flame. Fortunately I found a writers group, Keybangers Bangkok, which helped me turn a disorganized clump of sketches into a novel with a plot.

I’m almost ashamed when I think of how naive I was. I didn’t know how to choose competent proofreaders, caught a few embarrassing comments, paid more than I should have to correct the errors. I didn’t have any idea how to find an affordable editor; fortunately, Keybangers are better than almost any editors. As for marketing, forget it, I was a prime target for those paid promo sites that promise you the sky and rarely even give you the earth below your feet. (Note the case is very different if you are giving away a book for free; there are a few sites than will absolutely give away more than you could ever do on your own. However, I have generally eschewed all paid promo except for a handful of ten dollar Facebook ads to promote a different book outside this series. It got some exposure but few sales or KU readers; I did far better on my free campaigns.)

One thing Bangkok Shadows had was a great cover, designed by my artist daughter, Melody Shaiken. I once went to a forum where book marketer said about 90% of the reason people buy an ebook is the cover. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but mot much of one. That’s why all the NJA Series covers have a similar theme.

I stuck with first person in the second novel, Bangkok Whispers, because that’s all I felt comfortable with. After it was published, I realized if I was really going to develop and improve with each book -which should be every author’s goal- I might want to try a different approach. Third person would allow me to develop all characters and add different points of view, especially my Thai characters. This would also increase the sense of actually being in Thailand, which I have always tried to convey.

In Bangkok Whispers, a sleazy old acquaintance of Glenn’s seeks refuge with him in Bangkok, but won’t say why. The NJA Gang learns the hard way the fellow had dealt drugs for North Korea in America and then screwed up, causing North Korean hitmen to pursue him to Thailand. Of course, it’s up to the NJA Club Gang to save him, much as they despise him.

I haven’t written anything in the first person since the book was published in 2020. That does not at all mean I won’t ever!

The Change to third Person Produced Controversy, but Not Because of the Third Person Point of View; It Was the COVID Revelations and Glenn’s Politics that Provoked MAGA World.

(To my everlasting pleasure, I might add.)

The first novel in the series to use the third person was Bangkok Blues, which is the one the Trumpies loathe the most. In Bangkok Blues, Glenn and his friends discover an American epidemiologist sent to Bangkok because it’s the best listening post to learn about a strange and reportedly deadly virus in China, which the Chinese were not talking about. Neither was the American government, which is why the scientist went to Bangkok. Glenn and his friends learn how the U.S. under Trump stopped international cooperation in fighting pandemics, and how the governments of both China and America were more concerned about economic and political fallout than saving lives. The NJA Gang has to protect the scientist from Chinese agents in Bangkok and hope the truth gets out before it is too late.

While it is purely fictional, I included in the afterword a special thanks to the office of Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-Tx) which set out the timeline of withdrawal from international cooperation, ignoring evidence of a coming pandemic and lying about it when it arrived in America. The resultant Trumpie outburst led to more sales and KU readers than I ever anticipated.

The funny thing is that I don’t consider any of my books to be political. Every point of view is represented: very liberal, very conservative, monarchist, leftist, apolitical. That’s the way it is in the real world, certainly in the Bangkok expat community I came to know so well. Yet the only “political” complaints came from the Trumpies.

I Found I Really Enjoyed the Freedom I Gained By Writing in the Third Person

I’ve already mentioned that writing in the third person allows the author to present viewpoints from different characters. There are other advantages as well: tension can be created by differing conclusions, the protagonist does not have to be in every scene, the author can shift forward or backward in time without being tethered to one character’s experiences, easier to provide some background through the unseen narrator. Those are but a few of the advantages that come to mind.

That’s not to say there aren’t any drawbacks, and I’ve already mentioned some above. As you develop characters more deeply through their own points of view or as several others see them, there is a lot more to keep track of. Characters have more biographical and other baggage to carry from scene to scene. It’s easier to lose track of a timeline when you have quite a few going at the same time.

I really enjoyed being able to imagine how Thai people talk to each other when foreigners are not around. I did my best to blend what I learned living in Thailand, and having Thai friends, with the developing characters I created. So far, no complaints!

I Loved Using the Third Person in Bangkok Changes, Where the Brooklyn Mafia Comes to Bangkok

No spoilers here, but I can say that this novel required writing about both Brooklyn, NY and Bangkok. There isn’t a whole lot of location-changing or time-shifting, but when it occurs, the third person allows for more necessary detail. Besides, we wouldn’t want the Mafia to be evaluated solely through the eyes of one person, would we? I was hoping that readers would really enjoy seeing the same events through different eyes: Thai, foreigner, cops, mobsters, working people, local gangsters. I wanted to present a fair amount of Mobbed-up Brooklyn and whole lot of Bangkok.

So far it looks like I have succeeded. This novel is outselling all the others combined since release and the same with KU. (From what I’ve been told, that’s not at all unusual, in fact, it might be expected if the book is any good.) I haven’t spent onc cent on advertising!.

I have also noticed something else which I find interesting: while the book is selling better and getting more KU reads than all the others, there are relatively few ratings and even fewer written reviews. So much for the theory that you need to get a lot of ratings and reviews to move the book! (I’ll take them, needless to say!)

A FIFTH NOVEL IS IN THE WORKS

The only thing I can say for sure is that it will be out by the end of the years, hopefully sooner. Some new characters are being introduced to the NJA Club and the villains appear to be people from the General and Wang’s past, but like everything else in an exotic noir thriller, nothing is for sure. (For the uninitiated, the General is a mysterious retired Thai military officer who considers Glenn among his closest friends; Wang is the cook and owner of the NJA Club and a former adjutant to the General when he was a captain fighting the communists in the late seventies.)

Don’t worry, the world will be kept apprised of the progress of this new novel!

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